Movies Gone Bad

Actors on film, and actors in real life are two separate things, at least – I hope they are. I think that I’m fairly good at thinking them as separate beings. I like to watch films based on the plot and the acting skills, not the off-screen personality of a star.

I think Tom Cruise is a complete loony, but I like him as an actor. He has made questionable films in which I didn’t care for him, or I just skipped the film completely.

Pretty much everyone knows of Mel Gibson’s drunken arrest full of racial slurs. Does that stop me from loving Braveheart, Conspiracy Theory, and the Lethal Weapon films? No. I think he’s gone a little wacky over the last few years, but that’s not stopping me from watching something he’s in.

I think Hema Malini sounds like a diva, especially with her ‘if you’re my fan you must vote for this guy, or else!’ kind of comment from during the elections in India (reportedly), but I don’t mind rewatching Sholay or seeing any film she’s been in.

Everyone knows of Christian Bale’s divaness on the set of Terminator: Salvation. It gets me to make a bunch of bad jokes, but it doesn’t stop me from watching something he stars in.

I enjoyed the Iranian film Kandahar and thought that Dawud Salahuddin was really quite good as the American medic, despite the fact that Dawud Salahuddin is on the FBI most wanted list for killing an Iranian dissident and critic of Ayatollah Khomeini in 1980 and fleeing to Iran. I know, right? I must be crazy or something.

However, there are times when no matter what I do I cannot watch a film without thinking of the actor’s off screen personality. They’ve ruined some films for me. I have three such incidents, all in Bollywood.

3. Anything with Shakti Kapoor

Doesn’t he just look like a sleaze-ball? He was the secondary bad guy in Hero (1983). He was the strange ‘Crime Master GoGo’ in Andaz Apna Apna (that whole film was a big WTF).

Michele and I made some bad jokes after seeing him in Hero because back then he looked crazily like John Lennon. Bad jokes being of how John Lennon didn’t die – he just went to Bollywood!

Since then I’ve read bits of how much of a douchebag he really is. The picture should tell you enough. If I can avoid him (ie: FAST-FORWARD BUTTON) – I will.

2. Anything starring Salman Khan

From his mumbling to his bad sense of comedic timing – I don’t like Salman Khan as an actor. That is enough to make me avoid pretty much everything he’s been in, but to put icing on the cake I’ve read about such incidents of poaching, and driving recklessly into a bakery which led to someone dying – no charges or anything pressed. There’s also the reports of terrible relationship which Aishwarya Rai which ended with Salman hanging around drunk on the sets of Devdas and Aishwarya in tears.

The films that I have seen Salman Khan in have been because of other people. Karan Arjun – Shahrukh Khan, Kajol; God Tussi Great Ho – Amitabh (AS GOD), Priyanka Chopra; Hum Aapke Hain Kaun – Madhuri Dixit, along with the film’s reported epicness; Andaz Apna Apna – Aamir Khan; Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam – Shahrukh Khan, Madhuri Dixit; Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega – Preity Zinta, Rani Mukerji; Salaam-e-Ishq: A Tribute To Love – everyone but him; Marigold – Ali Larter, Bollywood/Hollywood crossover.

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was the first film I actually saw him in. It was back when I was new to Bollywood, and I kind of liked him. But, after reading about him? I was severely put off. I saw some other films which happened to star him, and I really don’t see what’s so great about him. The only time I’ve ever actually kind of liked him was Karan Arjun.

I am willing to watch Wanted and Veer simply because they sound terrible and it’s a perfect chance for me to make fun of him.

1a. Khoya Khoya Chand

This one hurts me the most. I really, really liked this film. Soha Ali Khan played an aspiring actress during the 50s, and Shiney Ahuja as an aspiring writer turned struggling director. It had interesting music, solid plot, and solid acting from both stars. I thought Shiney Ahuja was quite excellent in his role, and actually quite handsome (despite the not-so-50s hairstyle!).

Not long after I heard bits of how Shiney Ahuja was a bit of a diva, and seemed to have a false sense of entitlement. I shrugged it off.

However, in June of this year Shiney Ahuja confessed to raping his 19 year old maid, and he’s been rotting in jail waiting for a hearing ever since. Serves you right, asshole! I hope you rot in jail forever!

While I love the film, I just can’t rewatch it knowing what he’s done. No one will stop me from loving this song though.

If you can get past the fact that the lead actor raped his 19 year old maid? I’d rec this film.

1b. Hijack

It sounds like one of those bad cheesy hijacking films where the lowly air traffic controller gets on board and KICKS TERRORIST ASS. They don’t know who they’re messing with! Those terrorists will regret ever stepping on board this plane!

DUM DUM DUM!

I wanted to see it but…

It stars Shiney Ahuja!

Grr. RAGE.

Hopefully one day I’ll be able to disconnect actor-Shiney Ahuja from real-life-douchebag-Shiney Ahuja.